Regaining My Vision
"Good Morning, yesterday.
You wake up...and time has
slipped away.
And suddenly it is hard to find...
The memories you left behind.
Remember, do you remember?
The laughter and the tears,
The shadows...of misty yesteryears.
The good times and the bad you've
seen.
And all the others...in between.
Remember, do you remember,
The times of your life?"
(Paul Anka, The Times of Your Life)
Maybe some of you remember when that song first hit the airwaves. Maybe some of you even remember Paul Anka. Or, maybe some of you just remember that song from the Kodak Camera Commercial.
As I was thinking about what I was going to write in my editorial for this issue, I had an epiphany. No, I did not see a vision of some form of deity. But I did regain my sight. Or, maybe I should say that I regained my insight. See, I truly believe that a person receives messages from the Universe in many ways. At least, I believe I do. And, many times, these messages come from the voices of other people. Some you know. Some you have only met the first time.
I have struggled with this issue. And maybe this issue is a reflection of my life. At some point, in the pressure of struggling to sell advertising just to meet expenses, I lost sight of why I created this magazine in the beginning. And maybe I had to get a "wake up" call to bring me back to the reason for WOMAN magazine.
See, I have been so focused on trying to sell advertising, I lost my vision. I have been so frustrated, disappointed and even angry at people who have signed contracts and, then, decided that they really did not want to pay that I lost the true meaning of this publication. People have disappointed me but people will always disappoint other people.
Recently I was talking to Robert Lamont, the President and CEO of The Eye Center of Central Pennsylvania. He made a comment that really brought me back to reality. Robert said the second most powerful fear that people have is the loss of their eyesight. This is second only to the fear of death. I did not realize the meaning of that statement to my personal life until I began to think about this editorial. I had lost my eyesight. I had lost my vision for this magazine. I had allowed other people to almost take away my dream and goal.
How may of you have had hopes, dreams and goals but you have also allowed other people to take them away from you?
However, as I think about it, my first message from the Universe concerning my "getting off track" with my priorities came last November when I had lunch with Lucille Fala-Brennan. Lucille is a local actress who has established The Strawberry Playhouse in Tuscarora.
I had first met Lucille back in the mid 1990s, seems like last century, when she was creating a dinner theater at The Simon Kramer Institute of Therapeutic Oncology in New Philadelphia.
Because of the magazine, Lucille and I had reconnected. She has become so interested and excited about the mission of WOMAN Magazine and the "heart" of our work, Lucille has volunteered to portray Sharon in a play that was written for the memorial fund several years ago.
Lucille has also contacted Amy Burkhardt of the Pottsville Area Development Corporation and booked "A Rose For Sharon" at the Sovereign Majestic Theatre. The tentative date is May 1st. The play is a one woman, one act presentation about the tragedy of Sharon's life because of domestic violence. There will also be a panel discussion and other presentations that day.
Every time I listen to Lucille's voice, and her enthusiasm, when she talks about the play I am reminded of why I began the memorial fund, had to file for Chapter 13 Bankruptcy, file for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy and why I am still dedicated and devoted to Sharon's spirit.
And then, finally, as I was talking to Andy Bishop, I came to the realization and understanding of the magazine. Andy is the owner of Argraff Design. Her company designed WOMAN Magazine. Andy knew I was struggling financially and that several big contracts had backed out in very unethical ways. But she still designed the layout. (Andy is a woman.)
When I heard Andy talk about the magazine, that was when I had my epiphany. WOMAN Magazine is a very good publication. But to me, this publication is much more than just a magazine. WOMAN is a continuation of Sharon's life and spirit. I cannot let it die.
If you would like to see this magazine continue, then I need your financial support. I have received a lot of positive feedback from most people I have talked to about WOMAN Magazine. However, when it comes down to contributing monetarily and investing in advertising that is where the conversation stops. People think it is good enough to get free articles but not good enough to contribute to the cost of publication. If everyone chooses to wait and see if this magazine will be more successful before they invest in advertising, then this publication will fail.
"Reach out for the joy and the sorrow.
Put them away in your mind.
The memories are times that you borrow,
To spend when you get to tomorrow.
(Now) here comes the saddest part.
The seasons...are passing one by one.
So gather moments while you may.
Collect the dreams you dream today.
Remember, do you remember,
The times of your life."
Those words are the lyrics of the last two verses of Paul Anka's song. Each one of us has memories of the times of our lives. They are in the scrapbooks, the mental photo albums of our minds. I live with the memories of my times with Sharon. They were not all good days. My thoughts are not all good memories. But, as Paul Anka sings, they are moments in time that I borrowed with Sharon to keep until the "tomorrow" of my life with her.
We all have reasons for why we do things, why we choose the path in life we walk, why we are inspired to go in a certain direction knowing that the journey will be difficult.
Every time I look at Sharon's photograph I know why I am walking this path. Her picture is like the lyrics from the song, The Way We Were, by Barbra Steisand.
"Memories, like the corners of my mind.
Misty water-colored memories of
the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we
left behind.
Smiles we gave to one another...
for the way we were."
- Mike Kaminski