by Patty West

Everyone's tolerances for life vary, please be careful and adjust your dosage as necessary. Some side effects may occur. Do not be overly alarmed if you do not experience all of the possible side effects as everyone has different reactions.
1. Joy. Now, everyone may experience joy. Do not be alarmed as this effect is strictly beneficial. Usually expresses itself as a bubbly feeling around the heart area that releases itself in a variety of ways, often laughter results, but smiles are very common also.
2. Anger. This is a potentially dangerous side effect. Often when you experience this tight and hot effect, you must remove yourself from that aspect of life which caused it. This is suggested to avoid confrontations which can lead to very regrettable actions. Physical violence and damaging words are among the most common manifestations.
3. Pain. Now there are 2 basic types of pain, the physical pain and the emotional pain. Avoidance is recommended only in special cases. Life is not to be overly restricted to avoid all pain as without pain, beneficial side effects are sometimes lost.
4. Sadness. Often caused by emotional and physical pain, tears are the most common symptom. It is recommended that sadness be expressed immediately as repressing this can cause the more dangerous depression which is often difficult to treat. Again, life must not be avoided in these cases.

Family Violence Prevention Fund-- Picturing a world without Violence

 Dear Mary Anne,

This 100^th anniversary of Father's Day marks a historic turning point in the realization of the most basic and profound human hope - a world of futures without violence.  Today, we honor fathers as they honor all of us in standing up for true courage, strength, and leadership. 

This is the eighth year that hundreds of men - our 'Founding Fathers' - stand up publicly to pledge their commitment to fostering healthy relationships free of fear and full of respect.  A full-page in the national edition of the New York Times highlights this bold declaration from 'Founding Fathers,' like Joe Torre, Willie Mays, Tom Brokaw, Macy's CEO Terry Lundgren, and Blue Shield of California CEO Bruce Bodaken.  These heroes support innovative violence prevention programs and as ambassadors of respect, pave the way for so many others to get involved.

 

by Patty West

My story of food issues has to do with my maternal family's extreme dysfunction. There is a long history of child prostitution and pornography. I didn't have to gradually develop food issues; my mother gave me food issues in her efforts to train me for my role in the family business. From a young age she withheld food and drink in order to force me to say my lines and be more compliant. For me my life was about feast or famine.

WebMD Health Exchange Expert Blogs

Everyday Fitness

with Pamela Peeke, MD, MPH, FACP

Living life to the fullest is all about striving for a mind-body balance every day. Achieve a mental, nutritional, and physical transformation for life with tips from wellness expert Pamela Peeke, MD.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Junk Food Junkie: Food Addiction is Real

The WebMD Health Exchange

• Talk about junk food on the Diet Exchange

Have you ever felt like you were addicted to certain foods? You know the feeling. You pop a candy in your mouth and you're off and running on a binge. You can't have just one chip or a serving of ice cream. One taste and you eat a mountain of it. Or, you're doing really well on your healthier lifestyle journey and then one day you decide to stray a bit.

Perhaps you're stressed out or maybe you thought "Hey, I've been doing really well and I feel like taking a 'vacation day' from my program and eat whatever I like." And then you have that piece of cake or cookie and even after gulping down everything in sight, it's still not enough.

Here's the good news. You're not crazy. You could be addicted. Researchers at the Scripps Research Institute have just published a study that explains why you eat so compulsively around particular foods. You may actually be a junk food junkie!

Make Juvenile Justice Reform a Priority This Year	More Info
Help Youth Who Have Been Exposed to Violence!
Now that Congress has passed health care reform, it's time to urge Members to turn their attention to other crucial issues that affect our health and safety, including the Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Act (JJDPA).    The JJDPA was first enacted in 1974.  It provides federal funding to states that comply with a set of best practices aimed at avoiding the detention and incarceration of young people in juvenile and adult facilities.  However, this law is three years overdue for reauthorization! The Senate Judiciary Committee has approved a JJDPA reauthorization bill (S. 678) but the full Senate has yet to act.  The House of Representatives Education & Labor Committee has held hearings, but they have not yet moved reauthorization legislation.

 By Colleen Hollywood 

April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month. If the red flags are going off, do not ignore them. Talk to your children as much as possible in order to educate them about sexual abuse. Tell them no matter what they did nothing wrong and need to tell you immediately. Teach them self-defense or enroll them in classes. Show them where to kick, scratch, scream, punch, pinch, gouge eyes, etc. Tell them to pick up the nearest thing to hit the sexual predator with.

When my daughter was about 3 years old, her regular babysitter was going on vacation. Since I received state assistance with childcare they provided me with a substitute provider for two weeks. I interviewed her and her family. Everything appeared okay. Besides she was State Certified, right? They did routine inspections, right?

 

By Tamara Pryor, Ph.D., Clinical Director, Eating Disorder Center of Denver

 

An important area in medicine that has been relatively neglected is the health care of psychiatric patients. Psychiatric illness is associated with elevated mortality rates that are 2 to 4 times higher than those in the general population. Of those, eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all the psychiatric diagnoses. There is growing evidence that the increased risk of death is due to various medical conditions.

Teach Early. It's never too soon to talk to a child about violence. Let him know how you think he should express his anger and frustration - and what is out of bounds. Talk with him about what it means to be fair, share and treat others with respect.

Be there. If it comes down to one thing you can do, this is it. Just being with boys is crucial. The time doesn't have to be spent in activities. Boys will probably not say this directly -- but they want a male presence around them, even if few words are exchanged.

 

Domestic violence affects every member of the family, including the children. Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear. Children who witness family violence are affected in ways similar to children who are physically abused.. They are often unable to establish nurturing bonds with either parent.  Children are at greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home.

 

by Kourtney

 Hours have been spent sitting at the kitchen table with a full plate of food before me. Hours of stubbornness, hours of fear. Fear of what? I'm not sure. After eighteen years, I still don't know. I'm not sure that I'll ever know. We hear a lot about eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia are often in the news and tabloids. But are there other kinds of eating disorders? Ones that don't fit the criteria of the ones already mentioned, but still affect many people each day?

A True Story About an Eating Disorder

Do not be greedy for every delicacy, and do not eat without restraint; for overeating brings sickness, and gluttony leads to nausea. Many have died from gluttony, but the one who guards against it prolongs his life. - Ecclesiasticus 37:29-31

Sitting at the table, eating my third heaping plateful of spaghetti, I watched absently as my house mates shuffled in and out of the dining room. The dinner conversation turned from the Italian professor teaching Differential Equations to the stinking compost heap in the back yard, but not a word was said about my excessive eating, now a daily habit. Maybe my friends didn't suspect I was a compulsive overeater because I was an athlete and supposedly needed all that food. Or maybe they hadn't noticed because they didn't know what to look for. Inwardly I marveled at my ability to fool everyone until a new, unpleasant thought entered my brain -- maybe they just didn't care.

I'm your basic middle class male who was raised to respect women and never hit them. I consider myself a good provider and who has had some success after my hard work has paid off with my authoring 2 best selling books and having sold a self-started company. I work hard and am a decent man. I am also one of those in total disbelief this would ever happen to me.

 I hate the term battered man, I'm a DV survivor. And I can say the system (judicial, police, legal, local and state government agencies) does virtually nothing to help a man survive when they're on the receiving end of a female sociopath's attacks. In fact, the system has, in some ways, injured me more than my ex wife ever could.

Domestic Violence Personal Stories

 

My name is Linda and I started having a bad life at 18. I met what I thought was a wonderful man. He was one of my bosses from work. He was so kind to me at fist. We would spend lovely times together just having fun. I seemed important to him; at least I thought I was. 

After we were dating for about 2.5 months I found out I was pregnant and I wanted no more children. I already had a son and I was too young for him but another would have been havoc. So I told Joe that I wanted to terminate the pregnancy and that is when it all started. 

He kept me home and fired me from my job. For the 1st time he hit me right across the face because I said I was leaving him. He dragged me into the dept. store and said we are going shopping so stop crying like a baby. He acted like it was nothing and I knew it was wrong but I did as I was told. I was 18 and he was 31. I thought an older man would be better for me but I was wrong! 

Kate Moss Slammed for Skinny Comments

posted by Lindsay Robertson - Thu Nov 19 2009, 3:39 AM PST

celebs: Heidi Klum | Kate Moss

Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage.com Groups representing the anti-eating-disorder movement in the U.K. are blasting supermodel Kate Moss for a seemingly offhand remark she made in a recent interview with the fashion website WWD. When asked about her personal motto, Moss said: "There are loads. There's 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.' That's one of them. You try and remember, but it never works." Now a leading U.K. anti-eating-disorder organization, Beat, is speaking out against Kate's choice of words, because it turns out that the expression "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels," long associated with dieting in general, has in recent years become the motto of choice on pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia websites.

By Maia Szalavitz as seen in Time Magazine July 19th, 2009

 

At the Eating Disorders Unit at the Maudsley Hospital in London, anorexia is not seen as a social disorder - or even primarily a psychological one. While most American treatment providers blame perfection-seeking parents and the media's idealization of hollow-cheeked actresses for eating disorders (among other dysfunctional behaviors), researchers at Maudsley believe the root cause has little to do with social pressure. Rather, they think anorexia is better explained by heredity - perhaps by some of the same genes associated with autism.

Date updated: January 30, 2009
Content provided by Health Day

(HealthDay News) -- Anorexia is an eating disorder in which a person becomes obsessed about gaining weight and severely limits food or starves to feel more in control. Most people with anorexia are female.

There's no single cause of anorexia, but there are a number of contributing factors. The National Women's Health Information Center offers this list:

Elderly and Eating Disorders by Dena Cabrera, Psy.D at Remuda Ranch. Dena is a staff psychologist and speakers bureau member at Remuda Ranch.

 

 

Typically, my first interviews with my patients with eating disorders don't take as long.  But this patient had much to share given that she had experienced a lot in her 68 years.  My heart opened as this elderly woman shared her deeply moving, and extraordinary personal experience about how her life's journey was riveted with an eating disorder.  She sat with me as if I was talking to an 18 year old about her fears of eating, gaining weight, or getting fat.  She often in shame and embarrassment said, "You think I would have learned by now" and "what's wrong with me that I still worry about my weight."  Eating disorder origins among the elderly are surprisingly similar to those identified for young women, but with a unique stage-of-life dimension.  Loss is a significant issue at this stage.  Thus, refusing food is often an attempt to control the one thing the person still feels able to control - food intake.   

Go to U-Tube and search for Tri Delta-Fat talk week  This  is the soroity that Sharon Fisher Bassett belonged to at Bucknell.

 

Also on U-Tube go to www.operationbeautiful,

 

Kenneth Littlefield, PsyD, Juliet Zuercher, RD

Remuda Ranch Programs for Eating Disorders

www.remudaranch.com

 

 

 

Athletes comprise a large portion of those who struggle with eating disorders (ED). At Remuda Ranch alone, a recent study of over 1000 patients revealed that nearly 53% of those were athletes on some level. Thus, the entire "sport family": coaches, trainers, therapists, dietitians, family members and physicians must be aware of the unique needs presented by athletes with eating disorders.

 

Awareness of ED's signs and symptoms and the female or elite athlete triad is crucial for athletes, parents, and coaches to identify ED problems. As with all EDs, early identification predicts good outcome. The female athlete triad consists of disordered eating, amenorrhea (lack of menstrual cycle), and osteopenia/osteoporosis (poor or low bone density). Depending on symptoms and severity, it is diagnosed as anorexia, bulimia, or eating disorder not otherwise specified. It especially affects those in sports where low body weight may be beneficial, such as long-distance running.

 

Eating Disorder Center of Denver (EDC-D), an eating disorders treatment facility established in 2001, is committed to empowering individuals 18 years of age and older suffering with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating and related eating disorders to help them achieve and sustain recovery.

Nationally Recognized Medical Staff:
Located in Denver, Colo., EDC-D's treatment philosophy and model is lead by nationally recognized medical staff, including:

• Anita Kumar-Gill, M.D., Medical Director & Attending Psychiatrist
• Trish O'Donnell, M.A., ATR-BC, LPC, Program Director
• Tamara Pryor, Ph.D., Clinical Director

Levels of Care:
A multidisciplinary team of board-certified psychiatrists, physicians, family therapists and registered dietitians work together to create an individualized treatment plan for each patient. The following levels of care are provided:

• Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) - 10 hours a day, seven days a week
• BRIDGE Evening Intensive Outpatient Program (EIOP) - four hours a day, four days a week
• Outpatient Services/Aftercare

Treatment Approach - CAMSA^TM:
EDC-D developed an integrated approach for treating eating disorders called CAMSA^TM: Connection, Acceptance, Mindfulness, Sense of Self, and Action. The five core concepts of CAMSA are the backbone of EDC-D's bio-psycho-social-spiritual treatment model of therapy. CAMSA focuses on connecting with each individual patient on a personal level. EDC-D knows that all eating disorders touch the very core of those afflicted, so they work to heal patients as a whole person.

Scientific Advisory Board:
EDC-D's Scientific Advisory Board (SAB) is comprised of prominent industry experts from across the country. The board advises the center on enhancing its treatment model, as well as provides guidance on integration of clinical research into treatment, best industry practices and professional education. It also contributes advice and expertise on current or emerging issues related to the understanding and treatment of eating disorders.

Mixing binge drinking, eating disorders a dangerous trend By Christy Fantz, fantz@coloradodaily.com Posted: 08/10/2009 07:41:47 PM MDT

 

To my daughter,

 

I am so sorry for the abuse I have subjected you to. My life has been dysfunctional since as early as I can remember, so I know it must have been very hard for you to have to deal with a mother like me. You have witnessed such awful things no child should ever have seen. I will never forget the look of pain on your face when you seen me walk through the door covered in blood after my husband beat me. He hit me with a closed fist in my face over and over again so hard he knocked the tiny diamond out of the post of my earring. I also have a scar above my eye and floaters in my eye to remind me of that night for the rest of my life. Then you had to get into the vehicle the next day to see my blood splattered all over the interior. You had to look at my blackened eye and broken soul for the weeks that followed. You heard me say I just wanted to die. No child should ever been put through such an awful ordeal. He was one of the scariest people I have ever met and pray we never meet another like him. I knew if he did not drive me to kill him &/or myself, he was going to kill me and I could not let that happen to you, so I put my plan into action and we were gone within a few weeks.

 

Body Image Acceptance: Operation Beautiful

July 2, 2009

Every now and then I stumble upon a resource or an idea so great I cannot wait to share it with others.  Operation Beautiful is such an idea.

Colleen Hollywood is a survivor of domestic violence who lives in pennsylvania. She has wriitten a few articles for us and has sent an update of her continued struggles and her hope for the future.  She is currently writing a book about her experiences and we will let you know when it has been published. I am very proud of Colleen and her willingness to share her story with us in the hopes it may help others.  Changing Lives one day at a time Mary Anne. Send us your stories or comments to maryannearoseforsharon.org.

Submitted by Home Word.com with permission from Sue Leisenring

Ministry Assistant 7/13/2009

 

By Debra Cooper

Remuda Ranch Programs for Eating and Anxiety Disorders

www.remudaranch.com

Body image is how people see themselves.  However, what they "see" is not always accurate.  This is because a self-appraisal is rarely without bias.  Whether the person knows it or not, body image is often heavily influenced by the culture in which the individual lives.  Unfortunately, we live in a society that places an absurdly high value on a particular idea of physical perfection and beauty- witness our obsession with celebrities, stars, models and the like.

Perhaps the greatest proponent of the perfection myth is the American media.  Everywhere you look - television commercials, magazine advertisements, and the internet - there are extraordinarily beautiful, seemingly flawless, people.  And the sad thing is, these images that captivate America, are more times than not, not even real.  They are computer generated and manipulated, or so overly photo-shopped, that the people in the pictures don't even look like themselves anymore.  The problem is that millions upon millions of impressionable young girls, self-conscious adolescents, or insecure young women and adults, are constantly bombarded with these flawless creatures.  They look at them, and then they look at themselves.  By default, the real female loses.  Her self-esteem takes a huge hit; her body image becomes body dissatisfaction.  Her legs are too short, her nose is too big, her cheekbones are unremarkable, and of course, she is fat.  The more she obsesses about her inadequacies and imperfections, the worse she feels.  She sees herself as being "less than" and "not good enough." She starts disliking herself, even to the point of hating her own body.  She knows she can not change her nose or her cheekbones, but she can change how much she weighs.  Considering that dieting is one of the leading indicators of a future eating disorder, this could very possibly be the beginning of anorexia or bulimia.

Females are not the exclusive recipients of body-related media messages, and the resulting, body dissatisfaction.  Today, advertisers offer boys two main types of idealized images: either very thin, or "cut and buff."  As a result, body image problems for boys take two forms.  About half desperately want to be thinner, and half are striving to become more muscular and defined.  Not unlike in the female population, eating disorders are understandably on the rise in boys and men.

The way you see yourself is critical to your self-esteem, which in turn influences your emotional health, relationships and even your ability to succeed in the world.  If you struggle with a negative body image, it's time to take an honest look at the origin and validity of these feelings.  You may want to seek counseling, in order to gain insight and get back on the right track.  If you are a parent, please try to be aware of body-image issues in your children, both boys and girls.  Provide reinforcement for who they are, not what they look like,; for in the final analysis, it is the inside, not the outside that truly matters in all of us.

Eating disorders are notorious among the female population but recent studies show that males are up on the run as well. A recent survey confirmed that male eating disorders may be on the rise in athletes who increasingly strive to maintain perfect body weight and physique to help them in their performance.

Maybe it is 'prejudice' that has got us to point fingers at women all the time when it comes to eating disorders. After all, it is a woman's body that is centre of attention at all times in comparison to men. so with the latest statistics in hand, which shows that about 10% of anorexic patients are men, I wonder if we have over looked an important aspect of eating disorders for obvious reasons.

Gender bias, of course, plays a major role in here as in any other situation. If you are male and if you were to meet up with a doctor to discuss your new habits and potential male eating disorder symptoms, you are most likely to be advised to relax and take things easy rather than to be given a diagnosis as anorexic or bulimic.

|

Posted on June 17, 2009 by insightanalytical

By InsightAnalytical-GRL

Are you surprised?  I would imagine that New Mexico is no different from many other places here in the U.S.

ABQJOURNAL NEWS/STATE: Domestic Violence Increases in N.M.

Authorities say domestic violence is on the rise in New Mexico, and the recession is likely to blame.

Prosecutors and police can only speculate about the cause of the uptick, but District Attorney spokesman Pat Davis said it's easy to draw a line between the recession and the violence.

"There's something new going on, and it certainly seems to correlate with the economy," Davis said. "Our numbers sure show it."

Fourteen percent more felony domestic violence cases were referred to the Bernalillo County District Attorney's Office in the first quarter of 2009 compared to the same time last year. Felony cases usually involve weapons or serious injury.

Davis said it seems likely that people feeling the economic pinch are buying alcohol and drinking at home instead of paying more for drinks at bars. Then after drinking at home, they are venting their financial troubles on family members.

The DA's Office usually sees an increase in domestic violence from year to year, which Davis said they attribute to population growth and more victim awareness about how to report incidents. This year, however, the increase is much sharper than normal.

by Judy Patrick | as seen on Huffington Post

On Wednesday, President Obama signed an executive order creating the first-ever White House Council on Women and Girls. The Council will be charged with creating among all federal agencies a coordinated approach to the challenges faced by women and girls. In its first year, the Council will focus on women's economic security, work-family policies, preventing violence against women and improving access to healthcare for women and their families.

The creation of this council is deeply significant. It is an important acknowledgment not only that women and girls face persistent economic and cultural barriers to full equity, but also that women and girls play a key role in ensuring our society's well-being. By improving the lives of women, we improve the lives of their children, families and communities -- and ultimately the country.

The Council alone, however, cannot achieve its goals. It will require the coordination and combined efforts of Congress and all federal agencies. It will also require that advocates and activists who care deeply about women and families push the Council and the Obama administration in constructive ways to ensure that those women who are most in need have a voice. The very creation of the Council is a good sign that the administration will listen.

Caroline		June 9th, 2008 1:00 pm ET I actually lost weight in college - I switched from a sedentary suburban lifestyle, to walking everywhere at college since I didn't have a car! Instead I got the "graduation fifteen" - gained 15 pounds after I graduated and got a sedentary office job. I'm working on losing that now. If I could still walk everywhere I needed to go, I wouldn't need the gym! I also felt much more secure about my looks in college than before. This had a lot to do with the college I chose to go to, where I found a great, supportive community. I avoided a social scene that was hyper-competitive about looks. I now attend graduate school at a university whose undergrads do have such a social scene. It's high-pressure and unhealthy. I can avoid it as a graduate student, but undergraduate women get hit hard with the unrealistic beauty standards.
Grace		June 9th, 2008 1:24 pm ET How did your college experience shape how you eat as an adult? Did you basically stick to what you were already doing at home? It was very nice to have a cafeteria meal plan and not have to cook so we could focus on studying. However, that plus the fact that we don't have "home economics" in high school these days means that most people my age don't know how to cook and don't have much time to. Did you put on the 'freshmen fifteen, or was that just a myth for you? I put on the "sophomore fifteen." It was because that year my residence hall had free unlimited soda and sugary juice dispensers available 24/7. Did you end up losing weight in an effort to conform to aesthetic ideals instilled in us on campus? Did you feel like you were under a lot more pressure to conform than you were in high school? The opposite. I gained weight in college which is a good thing for underweight people. There was much less peer pressure in college than in high school. Almost none. College has a much larger and more diverse population. Among the thousands of classmates, you can choose your own peers. It seemed like most of the people with eating disorders were in sororities. Interestingly, the Tri Delts in particular.
Melissa		June 9th, 2008 4:28 pm ET As a college-age female, I have most certainly experienced the complexities of eating well and staying healthy in a college environment. It is most certainly a careful balancing act- the temptations of late night pizza and fast food, drinking, and all other manners of fun and spontaneous calorie consumption are all very much present on any campus. I have to say that I think it's very impressive that a sorority nationally took the initiative to make this program available to college-age women throughout the country. As a member of a Greek organization myself, it is even more affirming to see what awesome things are being accomplished by sororities on the national level. Taking jabs at Tri-Delts for appearing to have eating disorders is simply uncalled for. Readers should celebrate the fact that a group of young women worked together to promote a program that clearly has many benefits to offer college-age women during an important time in their personal development.
Jennifer		June 10th, 2008 9:49 am ET Loving yourself the way you are seems like a good idea. However, the reality is if you want to be HEALTHY, you need to be fit. The message should be to love yourself enough to take care of yourself.
Lena		June 11th, 2008 12:55 pm ET I've just finished my first year of university, and I certainly felt new pressures surrounding body image and being thin. I was completely in control of my life during high school. Everything was familiar and comfortable in my life. After starting university in a new city far away from home with zero immediate support, I felt completely out of control. The change in lifestyle caused me to put on a few pounds, which terrified me. I soon became obsessed with counting calories, excercising, and restricting my diet in attempt to be thin. It was the onlyt hing I had complete control over during this vulnerable time in my life. Luckily I got help and was able to get back on track before anything got too serious. I still struggle wtih body image, but I think that as I get more accustumed to my new life and surroundings things will only continue to get better.
mary		June 11th, 2008 5:46 pm ET Whether thin or heavy is not nearly as impotant as being healthy I wish the emphasis was on being heathy and not on body image. The "struggle" should be with staying healthy, not body image.
Lauren		June 11th, 2008 11:04 pm ET I hope the NIH focuses on small colleges, too-where most college kids ARE.
C. A. Dover, NH		June 12th, 2008 12:42 pm ET I started college back in the early 80's, before many of us college aged women knew what an eating disorder really was. I did not put on weight until my senior year, when had to work full time to pay for school as a full time student, leaving me no time for exercise. However, my freshman/sophmore year roommate had been diagnosed with anorexia when she was in high school. It was a rollercoaster ride living with her, especially during the second year. She woud alternate between starving and binging whenever she was emotionally distressed. The guy she was dating during this time capitalized on it, and would repeatedly berate her for being fat or lazy whenever he wanted to control her. The times his insults didn't work, and she didn't start the starving/eating cycle, he would beat her, guaranteeing the cycle would start all over again. I saw it crush her self-esteem, and I felt helpless to stop it. I moved out of that environment after three semesters, but I was very sensitized to it afterwards. Looking back on it, I wish there was a program like the one described here that could have supported her. I and our other dormmates did the best we could to help her, but we had no idea how to. Information like this might have saved her the punishment she did to her body, and the punishment she endured at his hands.
GF

 

Destiny, Zen and Jesus

by Season Hain

 

She was five

maybe four

when she stood on a chair to pull on the barrel of a rifle

so that her mother wouldn't shoot her dad

shoot him in anger

shoot him in disgust

shoot just to be rid of him and for the attention of it all

it was destiny that she was there to play a part in the pathetic scene.

 Some Things You Can Do to be Safer if You Are Being Abused

by Lana McCain

If you are being abused, the best option is to leave. But if you are going to stay there are things you can do to stay safer.

No type or amount of abuse is ever acceptable. Abuse is NOT just hitting someone with a fist. It can include pushing, restraining, shoving, scratching, slapping, breaking things, throwing things, forcing sex you don't want, coercion, threats, verbal abuse of all kinds such as name calling, screaming, and criticism. It can also include sleep deprivation and controlling behavior such as demanding to handle all money, irrational jealousy, ordering you around, and other controlling behavior. This is ALL abuse. None of it is okay. If you think you may be being abused you probably are. He will probably tell you that you deserve his abuse. That you somehow provoked or caused him to abuse you. This is wrong. No one is accountable for his abuse except for him. You are not to blame. There is NEVER any excuse for abuse.

By Janie Neff, Certified Life Coach

There’s an old wise catchphrase that says “the only good thing about endings is that it precedes beginnings”. A little pessimistic, I suppose. But, if you were to use this slogan as a catalyst for reflection on last year’s breakthroughs, insights, and successes, what would you notice? Look not only for the big, obvious breakthroughs, insights, and successes but also for the subtle, less noticeable ones. What’s changed in your life in 2005? What hasn’t? What lessons have you learned? And, what are you still learning? When you think of the past year, what makes you smile? Likewise, what makes you cry?

by Season Hain

The sound is comforting and familiar. Static bump of a phonograph needle after the last song. Lighting from an idle computer mouse dim and the same. She rises from her daybed - her fainting couch - and after listening to the sound just a while longer removes the needle from the vinyl, sighs and returns to her bed. Staring up at the ceiling she knows every groove of she thinks again of regret. Of wasted time. Wasted years. Dreams unfulfilled. Promise gone. Of life gone by and all that can never be.

by Season Hain

Even though that traumatic time is 22 years on, she finds she cannot even reference the years she spent in a downward spiral circling the drain. She cannot listen to music from those times, or connect and engage in conversations which reference that certain span of years, or even watch rebroadcasts of television shows from the years she thinks of as a pathetic circus and freak parade. The years when nobody cared, the years when she was irrelevant. Those certain years she will not articulate still make her visibly uncomfortable and cause her heart to race. Her pulse beats wildly and her own trepidation, fear, resentment and anguish become audible. Even now.

Here Are Some Warning Signs You Should Look Out For

By: Lanna McCain

Hi, my name is Lanna. When I was twenty one years old I met the man I was going to marry. It was my first serious relationship. Things started out innocently enough. He was quiet, kind and attentive. He focused a spotlight of attention on me which felt good. But slowly I became aware of things about him that did not seem right. My own instincts told me that there was something wrong with him. I could not put my finger on what is was. So I tried to focus on the positive and put it out of my mind. I wish I had listened to my own inner voice because over the years he became progressively more abusive. He always blamed his abusive behavior on me. He punched holes in walls. Abused marijuana and cocaine. Broke all of my possessions. Called me vile names and swore at me. Threw things at me. Isolated me from friends and family. Eventually he began hitting me with his fists and in 1993 tried to murder me with a baseball bat. I subsequently got an order of protection and divorced him. I worked for ten years after that helping counsel woman in a battered women’s shelter. I do not consider myself an expert on domestic abuse. But rather a passionate advocate of abused women.

By: Lanna McCain

Hi, my name is Lanna. I’m a survivor of domestic abuse and I’d like to share my story with you. I met my future husband at the age of twenty-one. He portrayed himself to me and others as being a very quiet, gentle, nerdy type of person. I found out later that he had an addiction to marijuana and a very violent family history. I felt sorry for him. At the beginning of our dating relationship he was exceptionally kind and attentive. He sent me a dozen red roses after our second date. He focused a spotlight of love, attention and compliments on me. Things were soon to change.

By: Lori Gallimore

I sure don’t have the answers, but I can’t be the only one out here who feels the way I do. Where is everyone? Am I the only one who has had enough of suffering in silence? I’m tired of being the victim, but I don’t have enough confidence to scream my hurt to the heavens, so I use this medium. I’m scared most of the time—this will come back to haunt me—even trying to reach out. I’ve spent many years suppressing the anguish of being molested by my stepfather as a young child and into my early teens. I’ve been denying it ever existed, much less had an effect on my everyday life. It does. It does. It does! I’m trying to find healing. I’d hoped to find it with the support of others who know what it’s like to have their innocence stolen. So far, I feel more alone than when I started. Is anyone out there?

By: Lori Gallimore

I woke up this morning feeling like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I normally don’t allow myself to think about the past and the resultant effects it’s had on me. But, I guess sometimes I have to let these feeling come to the surface, so that I can mourn for the little girl that was me, and the mess I’d made of my life until I learned to let it go. I can’t let the past dictate my daily life. To do that would mean that he won. I don’t think of what happened to me-hardly ever in my waking days.

By: Lori Gallimore

I’ve had so much go wrong in my life that 28 years later – I’m 36 now – I’m still having bad dreams about it. I can’t “get over it” like they say in the movies. What kind of cruel shi* is that? No one ever gets over the things that form the life someone lives. I can’t say these things form the person I’ve become, because I am a good person. I love more than any one person will admit to nowadays, but I still get shi* on.

By: Lucy Day

A truly heart-rending story because Lucy is Francis Tompkins.

By: Mary Anne Mackey-Wisor

“Welcome to the wetlands of New Orleans the vagina of America. And if you want to know how some folks feel about vaginas just look at New Orleans since the storm. We are nourished and sustained by her generous wet fertility but don’t hesitate to rape her, defile her, assault her, shave and mutilate the marsh grasses and trees which protect her. We call her sultry and sexy when we crave her, but after when we want to demean her and dismiss her we call her swampy and soiled. We brag about her music, the way she moves, we beg to get inside her, but shown her later when she has needs. We use her to entertain us and excuse us, and then jealous of her power and embarrassed by our awe, we make her a whore. We take holidays and get lost and happy in her embrace, we eat her, we love the fishy taste, we love her spices. But when she is hurting, when she is waving for help, we ignore her and let her drown. New Orleans is the vagina of America if we honor her, if we heal her, if we praise her; we change history and the story of women.”

—Eve Ensler writer of The Vagina Monologues

By Country Lady.

She offers nine ways you can stop an attack or avoid it altogether. Easy to remember, these tips can save a life.

Here you'll meet S.M. Cookie or 'Country Lady', who has written many of the stories you can read in the Stories section.

by Country Lady

Lucy was beautiful. She had long blond curls and light blue eyes that would challenge the sky for color. When she smiled her entire face lit up and she seemed to exude bubbles of happiness.

From Americas Most Wanted TV Show
Submitted by Country Lady

There was a young lady in our town that had a 4-year-old daughter Kelly. Stacy was 23 years old and had lots of friends. Stacy and her husband Todd were separated and she had filed a restraining order against him because of his use of drugs and violence. The police had been to her home many times, because Todd refused to honor the restraining order against him.

By Jeanne Rust, Ph.D.
CEO/Founder: Mirasol: Arizona Eating Disorder Recovery Centers

There are more and more people coming forward and facing the fact that they have an eating disorder. The age range can be from 5 years old to 85 years of age. This is an equal opportunity disorder. And it is one of the most deadly conditions we encounter in any diagnostic category.

By Colleen Hollywood
Schuylkill County

Sexual offenses are most often planned. They are not usually impulsive acts or mistakes. Sexual offenders do things to "set up" potential victims in an effort to manipulate them into sexual situations. Some grooming behaviors are done to try to get the potential victim interested in the offender or to see how the potential victim may react if a sexual advance is made. Grooming is part of a process in the actions that offenders engage in which leads up to the actual offense. Grooming can also involve threats, bribes, or coercive acts. Grooming behaviors are sexual abuse "red flags". Coercion is when tricks, power, status, threats, bribes, drugs, alcohol, or force is used to manipulating a person into doing something. The pedophile four F’s is Friendship, Fantasy, Fear, and Force.

by Season Hain
Central Pennsylvania

If you believe in a Divine Spark within every man, then you would have to also believe that the angels of our better nature would take over when our reason or sensitivity leaves us. Yet, I can tell you – from my own experience and what I’ve endured – that some people are of no worth and have no good in them. Strong statement? Yes, but completely true in my case and in my opinion. The lessons learned, though, are what I want to convey to others in similar situations of abuse.

BY Colleen Hollywood

Schuylkill County, Pennsylvania

I suffer from the worse type of PTSD, which is Chronic PTSD. This disorder is treatable, but not curable because of the fear, guilt, and other unwanted thoughts and emotions that make it very difficult for me to move on with my life as a result of the physical and sexual abuse I have been subjected to since as young as I can remember. One thing I do not remember that my mother told me was that I would sit in the middle of bedroom and pull my hair out. Since I do not remember, I am pretty sure I was under five years old.

By Colleen Hollywood

I have a serious condition. It's called Chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). One reason for my disorder is Sexual Abuse. A sexual predator is not always a complete stranger. It could be ANYONE in your family. It could be ANY acquaintance. In a child's life it could be a teacher, a babysitter, or a neighbor. The bottom line is it could be ANYONE at any age. Parents &/or Guardians need to trust no one when it comes to protecting their children.